Thelma and Louise go to Wales

It all started with a phone call as these things so often do!

"Ness, what are you doing over the Bank Holiday Weekend?" asked Sue Smith. "Well, I am working until 5pm on Friday and my next shift starts at 5pm on Sunday." It appears that Sue and Paul were due to go to Wales for the weekend to run a Passage Control on the 'Red Dragon'. Paul was unable to make it now so Sue asked me to go in his place. Looking back I should have questioned Sue more deeply as to why Paul was not going!

Anyway, after many phone calls to Wales made by Sue, we finally got the details required, i.e. the name of the Hotel we were to meet at and the address. As many of you will know, Bank Holiday Friday was a scorcher of a day, the sun really did have his hat on. As agreed I met Sue at Reigate Manor and off we set. Joining the M25 at 5.3Opm on a Bank Holiday Friday may seem to some a little silly - still that is what we did. In fact the M25 was fine, our problems began on the M4, the traffic was just crawling. Still, after 4 hours we finally arrived in Port Talbot, checked into our room and found the bar. We were advised by the Barman that the restaurant was closing so we had better hurry if we wanted food. Sue and I looked at each other and both decided that a bar snack would be more in order (especially as we had had rather a large doughnut on the journey). 'Do you do bar snacks?" we asked No, came the reply - but if you ask at Reception they will organise a sandwich for you. This was just what the Doctor ordered. I approached the same young lady at Reception who had checked us in, she informed me she could not help with a sandwich, but if I came back at 10.30 the night porter would be on duty and he could arrange it. There was only one thing for it - we would just have to stay in the bar and have another drink. At 10.45 Sue went back to Reception to see the night porter. 'You are not the Night Porter' she said to the same young lady I had seen. No, came the reply but what can I do for you. Sue then ordered our sandwiches which duly arrived. Very nice they were too. Why this could not have been done half an hour earlier, I really do not know.

By now it was time for bed. I checked with Sue what time we needed to leave in the morning and was told lOam. No Sue, we are rallying so we must need to get up at the crack of sparrows. Sue then explained to me that we were rallying in Wales and events here always start later and finish earlier than in Bournernouth. NOTE FOR RICK - Why Don't We Move The Sunseeker To Wales! After a very nice breakfast we left the hotel to go to our control. All we knew was that it was called 'Rackwood'. Upon arrival at what looked like a working coal pit we settled down the read the papers and await the chief marshal. It turned out that Rackwood is in fact, not a pit, but the place where they wash the coal. Yes, all the coal in Wales gets washed! As we are running a Passage Control and phoning through results we decided we should advise the results team that we were in position. Problem we could not get through to the results office as the phone number we had been given was for the local leisure centre. No problem, I was once a Girl Guide, so we rang directory enquiries and got the number.

Before we left the hotel we opted to leave the shorts behind and wear jeans and T-shirts. By the time the first car arrived we had put on our sweatshirts as the wind had got up. We then had to don our wet weather gear as it had started to rain.

Please dear readers, bear in mind we are standing in the rain, in sandals, at the place where they wash coal in Wales. By the time we had had the first few cars through our feet were black from the river we were now standing in. My jeans were soaked, the water was creeping up them and down off my ski jacket. The rain was dripping off our noses and we could not see anything through our glasses. This was real rallying weather.

We did start to get a little concerned because EIIya and Ian had not shown. A quick check with the results office put our minds at rest - no times were in for them so they did not think they could have started. During all this time Sue and I just kept laughing - here we were soaked to the skin, black as the ace of spades from the coal and both wishing we could find a tree for some natural relief!

All too soon we received the course closing car! Our next problem was how to get two very wet little people into a Nova without flooding the car! This we achieved by removing our rain wear, it was then that Sue pointed out to me that my nice white Southern sweatshirt was now purple, the same colour as my ski jacket!

We finally arrived back at our hotel. The plan was to drop off aIl the time cards and check sheets to the results office and then go and get some dry clothes on, to find that the hotel hadonly booked us in for one night. All our bags had been packed for us and they were waiting for us behind reception.

I think it is fair to say we were not happy bunnies.

We found the Chief Marshal who had made the booking for us and got him to sort it out. The hotel then found us another room, which we squelched our way to - through the wedding guests and the coach party which had just arrived! The first thing upon arrival in the room was to use the loo. The next thing was to try and clean our feet! We scrubbed and scrubbed our feet but they still looked a little grey. Oh well, so what - we needed to get to the bar.

After a very large drink we felt a little better, but still very cross about the mix up over our room. Why did Sue and I still look like drowned rats when everyone else looked dry? Could it have been the location of our control - was this the only area in Wales to be hit by thunder and lightning.

As we were sitting in the bar Richard Phillipson spied us. He said that he had heard EIIya and Ian had rolled. How could we find out what had happened and, more important, were they both OK? A little bit of quick thinking here - ring BP's mobile. Brian advised us they had gone off on Stage Two and they were waiting for the RAC to rescue them to take them back to London. Brian did tell us that both boys were fine. We asked him to pass on our best wishes to the lads and then went back to our drinks.

After a few more drinks we walked to the pub next door for dinner, and a very good value dinner it was too. Steak and jacket tatty for Sue and gammon steak and chips for me, all for a total of £6.50 - what a bargain.

Talking of bargains, on the way to Port Talbot on Friday, whilst on the motorway, we spotted a factory discount shopping village. Well, one has to investigate things like that. So on Sunday we had an early breakfast - with no bacon as the hotel had run out! and then left to hit the shops. As I was working on Sunday evening I did say we had to leave Wales by 1 o'clock. Sue and I hit the shops and we shopped till we dropped. We then had another problem.

Because of the amount we had spent we were entitled to some free gift vouchers - so then we had to shop some more to try and spend them! By now time was really marching on and we should have been on the road at least 45 minutes - but we were still shopping. Whilst Sue visited the last shop to try to spend her vouchers I went to the food hall with mine to get some lunch to eat in the car. I ordered two toasted sandwiches, one ham and tomato and one cheese and ham. I don't have a very good track record with sandwiches because we ended up with the ham and tomato as required but Sue had to have a cheese and tomato! We flew down the M4, very little traffic and no police! I dropped Sue back at Reigate Manor with just enough time to get back to Crawley to work.

All in all, we had a great weekend, we got given a wrong phone number, we got soaked to the skin, we got kicked out of our hotel room, and we hit the shops - what more could one want!